Choosing what to fail at

Choosing What to Fail At - A Guide to Keeping Your Sanity

It is a well known fact that a teachers work is never done. There will always be something else we can do to help our students make progress, or to fit a school agenda, Ofsted criteria etc. In an ideal world our work life would be balanced between teaching and being able to do all these things, but of course education does not live in an ‘ideal world’. 

Understand your reality

During the last academic year I decided it was time to move schools after 16 years at the same one. I was putting in applications, going for interviews, completing an NPQ and the full time job, as well as being a Mum, writing articles etc. Boy did it get busy. Just writing that list I wonder what on earth I was thinking! I got a dream job, and moved to a new school and a promotion to leading my own department at the start of the academic year. I love it!! But it’s hard work. I cannot do everything that needs to be done. I cannot do it quick enough to live by my own standards. I’ve had to stop and evaluate what is most important whilst also not making myself ill. 

4,000 Weeks - choosing what to fail at

Oliver Burkeman has written a fabulous book called 4,000 weeks - if you’ve not read it I highly recommend it to you. I have both the paper copy and the audio book so I can listen back to sections and remind myself. One of the lasting ideas that has stuck with me is the concept of choosing what to fail at. His point is that we have limited time to use, and we cannot do everything we wish. We have to be intentional about what we choose to put our time towards and as a result, we will have to choose things we are not going to do. This is quite a powerful concept. Giving yourself permission to not be good at everything, making an active decision not to do things. 

For me this has manifested itself in a few ways. I have not blogged for quite some time. I have taken a break from writing articles for others and have turned down additional work. At school I have decided to focus on what is going to make the most impact in the short term (working towards results for students), and accept that I am not going to make everything happen I want. I have made a 5 year plan, instead of a 5 week one. I have decided on one night a week where I try to ensure I am home in time (there have been occasional lapses!) where we have ‘family evening’, eating a meal together and playing games. 

This has not come naturally to me, and there are times where I have had doubts, sleepless nights worrying about the impact of the decisions I have made of what not to do, particularly with work. Questioning whether I am letting students down. Worrying that I have not been present enough as a parent. But the reality is I am better doing a few things really well, and focusing on making those happen, rather than on trying to do everything and please everyone. 

Implications

We cannot give our best to our work if we are run down and tired. Nor can we give our best at home. Let’s be honest, we cannot give our best 100% of the time anyway, and the fallacy that we can just gives us a big stick to beat ourselves with. But we can take back control for ourselves. 

Look at your to-do list. What are the most important things in your life right now - work and home. What is worth putting your time in to? What is less urgent? What are the things we feel like we ‘should’ be doing, rather than the things that are important. Make yourself a list of what you are going to fail at. It’s not to say you will never do them, but give yourself the time and mental capacity to work on fewer things and you will have far more impact whilst keeping healthier and happier. All of which amounts to a much happier life. 

Thank you Oliver for giving me permission to step back and evaluate. For empowering me to decide what I do with my time and how I spend it. I was so scared of letting people down - but you know what - the world has not ended. I am not in trouble with anyone, and I have done a good job! So what are you going to give yourself permission to fail at?